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And so it begins; why travel is always good

On the train to Gatwick, the sun splashes its light on a  golden valley - resplendent in autumn colours.  I’m guessing I’ll see some amazing vistas on my sourjourn across Asia but I know I’ll miss the quiet grandeur of this Blighty view.  I’m leaving for the Silk Road. I leave with a mixture of eager anticipation and anxious apprehension. It’s 20 years ago since I travelled and lived in northern Thailand - an experience that enriched and changed me. I feel the same excitement to explore for several weeks. Being able to let an adventure unfold is an extraordinary privilege.   But. Have my logistical skills wintered on the vine? Will Chinese immigration wonder why I only have a one way flight? Can I thread my way through Central Asia at a time of heightened conflict? More fundamentally, am I still capable of real independence?  On a recent dog walk last week, a weather beaten car had a sticker in the window.  It said ‘travel -always good.’ Travel is a me...
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God loves a Tryer ; the Frankfurt Marathon

I wanted to write a blog about dreams coming true -   how I conquered the sub-three-hour marathon.  But as I sit here, barely two hours after crossing the line, that isn’t a story I can tell. I ran Frankfurt in 3:04.35 officially (3.03 without the loo break!).  I’ve probably run more than a dozen marathons in my life, and my expectations tend to outstrip either my ability or my execution. The gap between what I hoped for and what I achieve can be a difficult place to sit. Today was no different. I wanted sub-three. I didn’t get it. My two great friends, Phil and Jon both achieved their goals. Phil ran 2:59:58 (incredible). Jon ran like a pro for 3:03. They set out their goals and nailed it.  Does coming up short reveal some fundamental weakness? Does failure tell us something deterministic about ourselves, some immutable truth about our character?  We want the things we achieve to tell us that we’re good enough. But the marathon is a dangerous peg on whic...

Chekhov’s anatomy of misery

This week, I proudly saw my son performing at the Oxford Playhouse in a newly updated English translation of Chekhov’s The Seagull . I’ve never read Chekhov, so my son’s (quite brillaint) acting is proving an education. Good theatre is timeless because it tells us something about humanity that we have a proclivity to forget, avoid or hide from.  When The Seagull premiered in 1896, it was a disaster. Audiences disparaged its unconventional form, with its emphasis on subtext and insinuation over literalism. What is clear is that every character in the play is unhappy. It’s a series of portraits of the different ways we struggle emotionally. There is the grinding misery of poverty and physical hardship, which attracts zero sympathy (unromantic psychological pain). The neurotic is consumed by what might go wrong; the narcissist by the inconvenient truth that other people have lives of their own; the melancholic remains blighted by sadness despite success. Misery takes the form of ...

Life in the slow lane: exploring mid life

The other day, someone said to me: “I couldn’t do what you’re doing. I need to be busy. I need to be doing things.” Fair enough. Each to their own. But busyness feels like a trap that I want to use this year to wriggle free from. I’m going to give life in the slow lane a whirl.  There’s a concept in running called periodisation. You train hard for a block of weeks, then ease back, allowing your body to recover and adapt. The fitness gains don’t come just from the training itself, but from giving your body time to absorb the work. Nature understands this. Fields lie fallow. Heathland is burned to create the conditions for new growth. Seasons turn. Things die back, endings happen, and space opens up for something new. So that’s the idea for my year out: to make some space, see the world from different vantage points and replenish my stores of energy and enthusiasm.  I’m feeling excited. Here’s a sketch for the year ahead  Chapter one: The running monk First up, a mo...

Leaving the Fast Lane

It’s been four weeks since my last day at the Mental Health Foundation, after eight years as Chief Executive and over ten years in total. I’m taking a break from work for a year - or what some now call micro retirement.  It’s been like stepping through the wardrobe in the Narnia tales - blinking into the light of a world where things feel and look suddenly different. I like it here but I’m still coming to terms with the change of pace.   I underestimated how enriching leaving an organisation can be. I’m so grateful for the opportunity to say goodbye properly. To colleagues, donors, supporters and people who have been part of the journey.  I get it was a self selecting audience and those who were less enamoured with my decisions or approach probably weren’t queuing up to say goodbye. But it was still moving to hear generous and uplifting feedback from colleagues - some of whom I’d worked with for over a decade. We (I am guessing it’s not just me) spend so much time carryi...

Why am I running a 100 miles race? You may well ask!

    If you are going to do something that is hard, you better have a clear idea of why you are taking that course of action. Especially when it comes to running. Every reason you can find to persist is like a stave preventing a house from folding. So, this blog is part of my race strategy!   I picked up running in my early 30s and I haven’t stopped.   It’s been a brilliant way for me to process and organise my thoughts, deal with difficult emotions, build friendships and experience new vistas.   So, I’ve decided to try to run the South Downs Way 100 miles race in June and raise vital funds for the Mental Health Foundation , which I have the privilege to work for.   The goal is to complete the course in under 24 hours. I’ll need to get roughly 15,000 calories into my body, climb 12,700 feet and take at least 160,000 steps to reach the finish line. I know that if you give, every single donation will be another reason for me to keep going. ...